Martimas Lantern Playdate

Yesterday we went to a friends house and made lanterns for a Martinmas Lantern Walk on Nov 9th. We had so much fun with wonderful friends and got our hands sticky with the craft!!

Here is our end result!!

For Uncle Lee

You are passing soon.

Your soul will be free to roam the Earth again, to roam this beautiful world again.

You can cross the forest roads as a porcupine and help an uncle teach his young niece about nature. And you will be just as patient as that porcupine was for them that warm day in Wyoming as they drove through the forest. You will let them get close enough to see the colors of your quills, to hear your squeaks, to smell your musty scent. You will let them gently touch you with a stick and curl up into a ball so the uncle can teach her about your defenses. You will roll over onto your back for them so the uncle can teach her about your soft underbelly. You will quietly and calmly sit there so the girl can get a good look at your face... that cute little nose and beady little eyes. You'll even stick your tongue out for her to see its bright pink color. You will be patient, you will realize that this is a learning experience for the girl, that they aren't trying to harm you in any way and never would. When the uncle is done teaching his niece you will slowly waddle off into the deep woods and go about your day while they drive away in the old blue Ford.

You can howl at the moon as a wolf while an uncle teaches his young niece what your sound means. You will howl for hours and scare the little girl. But don't worry the uncle will tell her that your sounds are telling all your wolf friends that it's safe to come out and play, that your sound is warning other predators of your presence, that you're sound is actually keeping them very safe. Knowing that you are close by means that other predators won't likely move in on the two tent camp they have set up in the middle of no where. The little girl will fall asleep listening to your howls in the night.

You can stand as mighty as a fir tree for hundreds of years as an uncle watches his niece dance around your trunk. You will be patient and kind to the little girl. You won't trip her with your roots or snag her with your twigs. You'll let her gallop and jump around your base as the uncle tells her about your history. The young girl will walk away smelling like fir for days and her mother will complain about having to wash her clothes again because "that smell just won't come out".

You can be the rattlesnake that seeks comfort and coolness between the rocks in the warm desert of Wyoming. You will teach the young niece what rattlesnake really tastes like. You will scare the girls aunt and make them run. You will cause the uncle to pull his hand gun that he always carries and shoot you before you can spring at the young girl. The uncle will then start a fire in the desert and cook you as a meal for his wife and niece. The young girl will taste your flesh for the very first time and say "it tastes like chicken" and make the aunt and uncle laugh. The little girl will play with your rattle for years to come before she loses it in the woods in Arkansas. Your skin is still hanging in the uncles house right above his favorite chair. Your soul will move on again to something just as nice.

You can be the antelope leaping over the plains of Wyoming. You will be cautious but patient as the uncle and young girl slowly approach you. You will not let them get within 35 feet of you but you stand there and watch as the uncle tells her about your antlers and body markings. He tells her that you eat the grass they are standing on that you run in packs. And then later that night, the uncle and young girl will have antelope for dinner, they will eat one of your friends or family members, but know that nothing was wasted, every last piece of your friend was used.

You can soar as an eagle and watch over the home land.

You can stretch as a grizzly bear waking from his long winters sleep.

You can saunter as a moose through the deep green forests.

You can swim as an otter in the cool river waters.

You can build as a beaver to protect your family.

Your soul can be anything it wants... I know your soul will do great things and teach great things in the years to come. Your soul has already taught me so much while you were living in this body that you've inhabited for so many years. I know you have touched others the same way you have touched me, I know you have taught others so much in your time as my uncle.

The body that you have inhabited for many years will now become a part of the Earth. You're body will now become the grass that the antelope eat. The antelope will become the food that the bear or wolves eat. Your physical being will become part of this great Earth all over again.

You have always been one with this beautiful Earth and you will always continue to be.

I know you will visit me again in some form, I truly look forward to that moment.

The passing of a great soul

I received a phone call this morning telling me that my Great Uncle is in the hospital and they were getting ready to take him off of the machines and let him pass.

I'm having a very hard time with this as I have always been very close to him. I've spent the day either crying or in a pure daze. My first reaction was to find a way to go to the funeral in Wyoming. So I started pricing flights, bus, trains, etc. Only to find that everything is extremely expensive and I won't be able to go. This set me off into another hysteric of knowing that I won't be there with my Aunt.

My Aunt and I have a very special relationship as well. When her mother passed I was there with her and helped her through everything. When her father passed several years ago we just happened to be visiting in AR (they were still living in AR at the time) so I was there with her through that too. I hate that I can't be with my Aunt during this sad time in her life. My aunt and uncle have been together forever, their kids are in the mid 40's so they've been together for a very long time. I really just want to be able to be with my aunt during this time and I can't. I think that's the hardest thing for me.

I knew today was coming, I was actually waiting for the phone call when I woke up. My uncle and I have always had a "weird" connection. He's been in pretty bad health for a very long time (I remember being 7ish and sitting in hospitals waiting for him to come out of heart surgery). But every time, just before or right after (but before I found out), something happened to him I would have a dream about cancer. The dream has always been a family member or some faceless person in the dream being diagnosed with cancer. Well last night I had a dream that *I* was diagnosed with cancer. I just knew something was wrong and was waiting to hear the news. I was terrified to call my mom cause I knew it wouldn't be good. I only had to wait about 10 minutes before my moms boyfriend called me to tell me what was going on. When you answer the phone and the first thing they say is "are you sitting down" you know it's not good.

So now we wait. I wait for the phone that will wake me up in the middle of the night telling me that he has passed, telling me that his body is no longer suffering, telling me that his soul has been set free. I wait for that news, I hope that news comes quickly. I hope he passes quickly and easily for his sake and my Aunts. I know my aunt, grandma (uncle sister), and his sons are sitting by his side waiting. I hope he passes quickly so they aren't having to suffer through watching and waiting for a long time.

Knitting

I started knitting back in July and absolutely love it! I am 100% addicted to it. The magic of making something with my own hands (yarn and needles as well of course :P) is pure joy. I spend my time playing with my son and knitting... yep the house work has been neglected some lol but not completely I swear!!!

My first doula birth!!!

Obviously for legal reason I can not go into details but I will say that my first doula experience was AMAZING!!!! They OB gave me all 5's (out of 5) for my certification questionnaire and wrote "We love having supportive, encouraging doulas at births". I am literally floating on air and can not wait until my next client (which I don't currently have).

I arrived at the hospital on Oct --th at 10:15 p.m .and left on Oct --th at 6:15 a.m. It made for a very long night but it actually wasn't that bad because I was so excited. Jane (name changed) did an amazing job!!! It truly was amazing to see a baby being born literally a foot away from me!!!

I have definitely found my calling in life!!!! W00T!!!

Upland Hills Farm

On October 8th we went on a field trip with a bunch of mama friends and their kiddos to Upland Hills Farm. We had a BLAST!!! Cooper

LOVED chasing those poor ducks around! We saw ducks, a bunny, a chick, pigs, sheep, a piglet, goats, horses, cows, etc. We got to go on a hay ride and a hike through the woods as well. So much fun packed into a few hours!!!

Here's some pics from the day!

The goat pics are some of my faves. You can notice in the first goat pic he doesn't even see it. And then after it licked his hand he is very excited about it!

Family Pictures

On September 27th we met a dear friend at a park so she could take our family/18mo photos. These we extra special to me since the last time we had family photos done I still had braces... These would be my first professional pictures without braces and I was super excited!!! We ran around the park, played with giant leaves and pine cones, blew bubbles, played on the slide, etc all while Toni was taking candid pics (with a couple posed ones but not many!).